Chapter 42

No one moved for six hours, Maya even cancelled her meet up and didn’t reschedule. Alex sat and stared into space, numb from crying. 

She’d known Parker since she was a little girl and he’s apparently joined IJS with her. She didn’t remember that, but it meant a lot to her that he’d taken such a risk with her. And he was dead for it. Just because he’d known her, just because he’d been a soldier. He’d died, needlessly and wastefully, for a psychopath to make a point.

“Did you get any of that recorded?” Alex asked Leo, who was still curled up on the couch with Sam.

“Nope.” Leo said, choked up. “I got nothing.”

“Shit.” Alex laid her head down next to Ray, who hadn’t left her side. Maya had gone to lay down hours ago and hadn’t come out of the bedroom.

She wasn’t sure how she felt at this point. She’d had the panicked sorrow portion of grief, which felt eerily familiar. Had she had the same reaction when David had died? Or had she been more stoic than this? Was she more calloused with her memories? Did she want them back if that’s how a person reacted to the death of a friend?

At this point, there was just numbness. She  had shut out as much of her emotions as possible, locking them away, trying to be stoic and logical. But Leo and Maya weren’t doing that. They had fallen apart and let the sorrow over take them. Or were they dealing with their emotions in a more healthy way? Was she being psychotic by trying to be logical? She probably shouldn’t Mr. Spock her way through the death of a friend.

“Someone needs to call his parents.” Alex pointed out and Leo started crying again.

“That’s the last thing we can do.” She said, through her sobs. “If I try to contact them the IJS will have access to our location. You know they are monitoring everyone.”

Alex stayed silent through the rest of the day, moving as if on auto-pilot. Ray had been convinced that the restaurants weren’t going to spy on them and had gone out and gotten them some soup and salad and fresh baked bread. It was warm and comforting food in the midst of overwhelming… nothing.

She took the rest of the day to rest, to eat, to sleep, to clean herself. She had moments of overwhelming sorrow, letting her grief come to the surface. She cried and sobbed and curled up in a ball and let it out. She let it happen. It needed to happen.

Zoe FleischerComment