Writer's Holiday Gift Guide 2017

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Hello!

If you are reading this, you have been sent this by one of your writer friends. And they did it because they LOVE you and they know it hurts you when they return the clothes you buy them every year for Christmas. 

So please, just get them one of these things.

And don't buy them a notebook. Writer's are very particular about that sort of thing and unless you are SURE of the EXACT brand, size, and ruling; don't buy them a notebook.

Or pens.

Or maybe you just Googled "What the fuck do I get my writer friends?". Fuck it I don't know.

Stop judging me, Karen!

Anyway. Here's my holiday gift guide!

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1) Scrivener

I am not sponsored by Litterature and Latte at all.

And I will promote their software with my last breath if I have to.

Okay, realistically, probably not. I'll probably say something nice about my kids or reveal my murderer or flip of Donald Trump or something bad-ass like that.

But there's a reason why all the writers online swear by it like it's a religion. It's literally the BEST. And if you pair it with the companion mobile app THAT IS FUCKING CLOUD SYNCED, you've got a recipe for writing BLISS.

Did you know that this thing can format for ebooks? Without you having to learn how to format for an ebook? It just does it for you. Seriously. It's worth the price JUST FOR THAT.

If you love your writing friend, just buy them this software. Either the mobile app or the computer version. REALLY.

2) Grammarly.com subscription

Not sponsored by these guys either. Just freaking love their software.

If you're a non-writer buying for a friend, you're probably thinking "What the fuck? They don't need that! They correct my grammar on Facebook EVERY DAY."

And yes, for some, this software is just an ego boost.

And yes, for the most part, this software is free.

However, there are some parts of the algorithm that they keep in a paid tier. Pieces of grammar and rules that you can't even BEGIN to comprehend.

But style and passion dictate that we writers CARE about these sorts of things.

Because we care about the words. 

And the best way for you to say "I love that you know and care about the differences between 'there', 'their', and 'they're'..." is for you to get them a subscription to this obsessive bit of algorithm. Even if you couldn't give a flying rat's ass.

3) 4thewords.com subscription

Not sponsored either!

But I played it during NaNoWriMo and it was HECKIN' FUN!

It's an RPG where your "hits" are your words! And each monster requires you to write a certain amount of words! It was great to play during NaNoWriMo and I'm sure that it would be great fun otherwise.

But my trial ran out and I can't play anymore. And I'm sad. Because I have to work like an adult instead of type my little fingers raw and beat monsters.

4) Typewriter Keyboard!

This is SO COOL. You know that you want one, even though you're not a writer. This is a piece of hardware that says, "I know that you imagine yourself to be a cool writer in the 50's, all in black and white, with your typewriter and whiskey and a cigarette. And I know that you also aren't a narcissist and want to keep your files digital and infinitely changeable. Here, my dear friend, have the best of both worlds!"

Do you love your writing friends? You do! Good. Go get them this keyboard.

5) Orson Scott Card's "How to Write Science Fiction

This is literally THE bible for writing science fiction.

If you don't know who Orson Scott Card is, do you remember that movie "Ender's Game"? The one with Harrison Ford and no aliens except at the very end? Yeah that one. 

He wrote the original book and it's AMAZING and you need to go read it and buy this for your writer friends.

Even if they don't write Science Fiction! It's a very good guide on style and craft written by a master! He's very, very good!

There you go! Please don't buy your writers anything else on this list. Seriously. Put down the weird little notebook with a cute phrase. There you go... shshshshshshshsh... it will be okay.

-The Ginger Wordsmith